tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4694793709112619004.post1888247638799946593..comments2023-08-20T07:43:56.226-05:00Comments on teapots and cake stands: guiltAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17336538743084629442noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4694793709112619004.post-16114072249104773172010-08-04T08:57:38.892-05:002010-08-04T08:57:38.892-05:00Sarah my dear, I completely agree with Jordan. Yo...Sarah my dear, I completely agree with Jordan. You have worked yourself to the extreme in so many situations, and though I know you enjoy most of your jobs, you don't take time for yourself very often... not to point a finger but pushing yourself is a little of why you are sick. I don't think you have any reason to feel guilty about this period in your life, and if it makes you feel any better I kinda feel like your 'job' now is to try and get well!<br /><br />I do experience guilt too, and like you I know most of it is unjustified, but I still find it in my heart. My guilt revolves around dragging my husband to Fl for a PhD program that I may not even 'use', the fact that my husband is doing a bunch of the house work and I'm not taking care of him, feeling like I should be having children not going back to school... yeah the list goes on. I feel that some of this guilt involves society's messed up expectations of women right now. Men have a job, to provide, that is not disputed by anyone. Women however are to fight repression by having highly successful careers while still being the best full time Moms and Wives... its not possible! In my mind either you are one or the other it is very difficult to be both.<br /><br />You are contributing to your family when you stay at home, with the work you do around the house AND with the other fun jobs you take on. Also even though it seems like Patrick is doing a lot, it is part of his responsibility as husband to be the main provider, it is a responsibility he has taken on to give you the chance to recoup. Oftentimes it is my pride getting in the way when I feel guilty that Chris is doing all the house work, I feel like I should be doing those things and I get satisfaction out of taking care of him, maybe that is a little of what is going on with that concern for you too.<br /><br />Dear I'm so excited for you in this stage of life. I know it is weird and new, and that makes it hard to get used to, but I am praying that you will find joy and satisfaction in this season, and that God will use it to prepare you for whatever season is coming next! Sorry this is exceptionally long and wandering!Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15553283904537256187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4694793709112619004.post-38490593176475387172010-07-23T09:51:05.298-05:002010-07-23T09:51:05.298-05:00I read this entry last night but didn't commen...I read this entry last night but didn't comment right away because I couldn't figure out how to put into words what I mean in a way that would persuade you to not be guilty anymore! Sadly, this morning hasn't brought any huge revelations that I feel would convince you so I'll just blabber one and see what happens! <br /><br />I have always felt that you fill your schedule way too much - I thought this before you got sick and even more afterwards. You invest so much in other people's lives and you have so many other "businesses" that keep you busy, I have been amazed by your ability to continue to do all these things and have a full time job. (and you do them all so very very well!) I am so excited that you get to take one of those things out of the equation - and in my mind it is the least important thing. It would have made you so sad to have to give up one of your businesses or friendships or now bible studies because you HAD to work. You and Patrick have been blessed financially and he has been blessed with work that he enjoys, why can you not take advantage of this and do what you love? I think some of this guilt will melt away come the new school year, you'll feel more like you have a "job" and you'll be getting some paychecks and be contributing to your family. Even more, your 'paycheck' will be your spiritual and emotional growth as you learn and grown through CRU bible studies and your relationships. There is more to life than a 9-5 job and a paycheck!!! Go find out what it is and don't feel ok about it :)Jordanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13112927442585936226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4694793709112619004.post-61305514910769822902010-07-22T22:39:55.174-05:002010-07-22T22:39:55.174-05:00sweet sarah, you rock!
i don't have anythin...sweet sarah, you rock! <br /><br />i don't have anything super great to say, but it is just a woman thing i think! because even though i did stop working to stay home because of a baby...i still feel guilt-like i'm not doing enough. the laundry isn't put away because b has been fussy all day, or oh my word it took me 30 minutes to scrub the shower clean because it hadn't been cleaned in so long! <br /><br />you are doing what is best for your family! :) no guilt necessary!emily jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03895679020021165564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4694793709112619004.post-82022628790957166422010-07-22T21:16:29.072-05:002010-07-22T21:16:29.072-05:00Sarah, I think this guilt is definitely not of the...Sarah, I think this guilt is definitely not of the Lord and that you should release it. You have an opportunity to minister and take care of your home in a way that you haven't been able to do before, and your husband will be blessed by it, as will you. I completely understand why you feel guilty; I struggled with this too when I was out of work last year, but I came to really appreciate the time I had and I loved how much more in order my home was! (I think hubs really enjoyed it, too.) So while it's certainly not typical to stay at home when you don't have a child, that doesn't mean it's wrong. You are doing what you feel is best for your health and your life, and I know that God will get glory out of your new situation. And ultimately, that's what matters! <br /><br />And ff it makes you feel any better, one of my mentors when I was in college did this very thing. She was in her mid-twenties, married, and working full time. She decided to leave her job and devote herself more to the college ministry at our church. They were in a position where they didn't really "need" her income, and even though some people thought it was completely "weird" that she would stay at home even though she didn't have a child, she loved it and it was great for her and allowed her to invest even more in others!erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04087894658713504760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4694793709112619004.post-80853841618591927292010-07-22T14:56:10.439-05:002010-07-22T14:56:10.439-05:00I also just noticed your "about me" here...I also just noticed your "about me" here on your page. God gave you the desire of your heart! Rejoice! :De g allishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16049204217165839566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4694793709112619004.post-16147580054059409132010-07-22T14:54:31.593-05:002010-07-22T14:54:31.593-05:00Last year when I lost my full-time teaching job an...Last year when I lost my full-time teaching job and had to drop to part-time, I felt guilty too. And THEN I felt guilty that I really enjoyed being home so much! <br /><br />I think our society has reared a whole generation of women who think they have to do everything. Have a ridiculously successful career, be the perfect mom, run the household, etc....sometimes I think women's lib did nothing but make a woman's life more difficult. Buuuutttt that's another comment for another day...haha.<br /><br />You're right when you said that you were practically working two jobs before. I know it's hard to think so, since there's no paycheck involved for homemaking, but think about it...people who can't do it themselves have to PAY other people to do it. Right? So if someone can have a full-time paid position as a housekeeper, there must be some actual work involved, right? :Pe g allishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16049204217165839566noreply@blogger.com