switching from briefs to boxer shorts will not cause medical problems
your pediatrician will not harvest and sell your child's organs (we don't keep surgical tools in the office even if he wanted to), so there is no need to threaten to sue us
if your insurance is not active, you are considered a self pay patient regardless of how long you've been going here.
if you are old enough to contract an STD, you are old enough to see an adult doctor--not a pediatrician
if you have a child of your own, you are old enough to see an adult doctor
"i've given you enough money already this year" is not a valid reason not to pay your bill